Yesterday evening after tea, Ben suddenly appeared in the living room armed with brightly wrapped gifts and cards. "These are to thank you for everything you've done for me over the past 18 years and especially over the past three years," he said as we stood with open mouths.
He'd bought us both boxes of chocolates and a card. In it he'd told us that he loved us "immensely" and wanted to thank us for helping him through his illness as well as nurturing him through his childhood to prepare him to "leave the nest". He said we'd prepared him better than any other parents could and that we're the best parents of "all the mums and dads out there". And he thanked us for being there for him when he was "hurt, down or sick" and filling him with the confidence to lead his own life.
And as if that wasn't enough to make us fill up...
... He produced a third card and gift. "These are for mum - to thank you for getting me through this."
"But dad helped you get through it too!" I said, not wanting dad to be left out...
"But you were the one who was with me 24/7 during the dark days. Without your encouragement I mightn't have got through this, let alone be on my way to uni on Sunday. I just wanted to thank you especially."
Cue gallons of tears...
In the card he talked about the way we'd fought the struggle together, not against each other, but against the illness. He talked about my love being a "shining example to the world that love can overcome anything". He talked about the "sheer strength of willpower and motherly love", told me I am "the most amazing human being I know", above "all other idols in my list of admiration". Finally he thanked me for "being the one who never gave up".
I found it difficult to concentrate on much else for the remainder of yesterday evening, I can tell you...
I don't expect there are many young people going away to uni this week who have expressed love for their parents like this.
He is a remarkable young man, in so many ways...
Want information on eating disorders in boys? Worried your son has an eating disorder? What are the signs of eating disorders in boys? In 2009 my 15-year-old son developed anorexia. Now aged 31 and with a MSc in Psychology he is recovered & working in mental health using his experiences to help others. I help to raise awareness of eating disorders in boys, point parents to helpful resources & talk about how eating disorders can traumatise families.
That was so lovely and touching. Please send Ben our best wishes for this new and exciting stage in his life and you take care as well , you're such a supportive, kind and caring mum xx
ReplyDeleteThat's fantastic! Of course you never expected to be thanked for it all, but it is so special to be thanked. As for Ben, well he's obviously really aware of how serious his illness was, which shows real maturity.
ReplyDeleteIt is heartwarming to hear how much your son appreciates what you've done for him and how he has actually managed put it into words for you.
ReplyDeleteYou've obviously been an amazing mum to your little boy (cos he always will be your little boy!)