Pillar to post...

Yes, the session with the dietician went well, but she's not sure how helpful she can be to Ben at this stage. Perhaps, she suggested, it mightn't be a bad thing for Ben to see a psychologist colleague of hers to see if there are any other underlying issues that need addressing, in a different way - say - through the use of DBT (dialectical behaviour therapy).


Much of what she said at our session made sense, especially as regards the way Ben finds socialising so challenging. And also why he finds it hard to move away from the "safe" environment of his eating routine - and why food is the most important thing in his life. I got the feeling, from yesterday's session, that Ben would sacrifice social, academic life and a career if they got in the way of his routines.

Ben's moods still aren't brilliant. But, then, Ben always had mood issues, right from the day he was born. He was a screaming baby. He didn't like playing with other toddlers and would give them "daggers" looks. In other words, keep away from me!!

He had one good friend at primary school - a boy just like him. Quiet, imaginative and very different from the other boys who would kick footballs around the yard. It's a real shame that this boy moved away, because he would probably have been a friend for life.

Ben's mood tends to be generally low. But sometimes it swings so it's very high. It's either one or the other, never in between. All or nothing.

And, of course, he finds it very hard to socialise or hold down relationships (e.g. with girls). He misses the usual social cues which others give off and tends to "lecture" or "talk at" people, rather than hold a rolling conversation. But this could just be because the eating disorder isolated him so much during those crucial developmental years.

He has an encyclopaedic knowledge of a range of subjects (history, philosophy, religion, etc) but also tends to have very strong opinions, which aren't always right. Sometimes I feel as if I'm the errant child and he's the strict adult! Again, this could simply be because he never learned "how to be an adult", alongside his peers like most other young people do.

He was part of a very strong social group during the first four years of secondary school. He was "top dog" and very popular indeed. As he always said: "I would get concerned if I'd never been through this popular phase. But I have been popular, and for four whole years. So I must have been doing something right!"

So it's all a bit confusing.

But a chat with the psych wouldn't be a bad thing.