Remember how the eating disorder stole my son's social life as well as so many other things in his life? Remember how, for a very, very long time, he was unable to go to school or meet up with his friends? How, gradually, the boy who'd been so popular became so very isolated and alone, so much so that on his 18th birthday in December 2011, he was virtually in tears because he was celebrating alone with just me and his dad?
Since then Ben has rebuilt his social life, at home and during the four years he was at university.
These days he has a great circle of friends.
Last weekend he visited a friend who's away at uni and is visiting another friend at his university next weekend. He's also joined a brilliant 'Meet Up' group where he's making even more new friends.
And when he's with his friends everyone is laughing and making a noise - the complete opposite to those isolated eating disorder years.
Then last night he went to a bonfire party hosted by - yes! - his old school friends. That network of boys who used to come round to our house every Christmas on Ben's birthday and have fun.
Everything about the experience was NORMAL.
In the not so distant past Ben would have chickened out at the last minute, made some excuse and stayed at home with us. Last night there was none of this as he headed off for the bus. A taxi brought him back at goodness only knows what time this morning. (All credit to him that he texted me earlier on to say how he was getting back - we mums do worry, don't we!)
He had a fantastic time. Many of his old friends were there and he was able to catch up with what they're doing now everyone is turning 24-years old. And hopefully he'll be meeting up with them again very soon.
Meanwhile his freelancing job is going OK and he has a couple of other interviews, too, for what he calls 'the perfect job' - a career he could only dream of when he was sick with anorexia.
And meanwhile, right now, Ben is busy cooking in the kitchen (no, not diet food) and singing at the top of his voice. As I've said on this blog before, when Ben is singing all is right with the world.
I do hope that this news gives hope to families who are where we were all those years ago, that there IS life after an eating disorder.
Want information on eating disorders in boys? Worried your son has an eating disorder? What are the signs of eating disorders in boys? In 2009 my 15-year-old son developed anorexia. Now aged 31 and with a MSc in Psychology he is recovered & working in mental health using his experiences to help others. I help to raise awareness of eating disorders in boys, point parents to helpful resources & talk about how eating disorders can traumatise families.
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