Over the last month or so I've found it impossible to even so much as glance at anything to do with eating disorders let alone do anything useful and worthwhile. I even had to make my excuses to the January meeting of the Men Get Eating Disorders Too charity at which I am a Trustee. I seriously couldn't face anything to do with eating disorders. Nothing. Zilch. Zero. So that's why I've been keeping a bit (or a lot) of a low profile for the past few weeks.
I'm also seeing my therapist, Steve, again to try and tidy up the loose ends of the Chronic Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) although I am really not sure how much of the eating disorder related C-PTSD is still there. My therapist believes we've 'processed' most of it using EMDR but I'm not so sure.
I've also found myself in a pretty bad depression - the kind where it's difficult to get dressed or washed or put makeup on, although I've made myself do a lot of stuff over the past week and am sure I feel better for it.
It's such a wretched thing, isn't it? Eating disorders. Wretched for the individual suffering from the eating disorder and wretched for the parents or carers who have to go through it with them followed, in many cases, by some kind of PTSD as a result of the impact of sustained and extreme trauma on the brain.
But, anyway, that's why I haven't been around for a while.
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