This afternoon I had a walk in the park with Ben which is always a great opportunity for a chat about how his recovery from anorexia is progressing. I pointed out how different our conversations are these days compared with a year ago when I felt I was banging my head against a brick wall, trying to reason with the warped, irrational thinking caused by anorexia. Nowadays Ben can see it as exactly that - the fact that, back then, the anorexia was convincing him that black was definitely white or whatever.
He was telling me about the little challenges he's been creating for himself in his battle against the anorexia. Like putting Nutella on his toast, eating small amounts of chocolate and so on - all challenges that would have freaked him out only a few months ago, thanks to the anorexia. At that time, he was convinced that certain foods (mainly those containing fats) would put on weight massively faster and in greater quantity than other foods with the same calorie content. These days, his thinking is much more rational as he succeeds in reducing the impact of the anorexia thinking on his everyday life and eating.
He told me how yesterday, as a 'two fingers up at anorexia' challenge which he set for himself, he put a whole walnut in the teabread he'd made as a surprise treat when he came to that slice. That, he said, would have freaked him out in the days of high-anorexia. The anorexia wouldn't have let him do it "let alone put Nutella on the slice as well!" he laughed "or the two puddings I had for lunch".
Ha ha, anorexia, you're losing the battle!