4 nights in Edinburgh

Ben wanted to go to Edinburgh for his 18th birthday, so we did - and we've just come back. I was aware of the ED being there in the background a little bit. Not a lot, but definitely there. And it got me thinking that we still have issues that need ironing out before we can truly claim that Ben is 'recovered'.


For example, Ben's mood is still generally low and, like our second week in the Peak District in the summer, this frustrated me. Edinburgh was positively sparkling, the atmosphere was lovely, but Ben often looked as if he was at a funeral. His emotions are still being numbed by the eating disorder.

He managed to get through all the food he needed to get through including eating out, but he did say no to some things - for instance the cooked breakfast on the train on the way back home, opting for toast and jam (no butter) instead.

But, in general, the food choices he made were good and included a slab of iced Christmas cake, a large iced bun and a chocolate covered marzipan bar - plus a huge curry.

Ben said that it had been a challenge 'not to exercise' while we were away, despite the fact that we walked MILES and MILES every day. If that's not exercise, then I don't know what is! And I noted that he took the stairs instead of the up escalator at the railway station - carrying a heavy suitcase...

Also, he still has this irrational fear that something terrible will happen if he puts on a few extra kilo - basically that he will be fat. And what we are seeing is someone who is most definitely on the skinny side of slim... But he doesn't see that... still...