Not wanting to labour the point too much I decided to stop at Day Ten and move onto something more current which is the continuing niggle over whether or not Ben will be ready to leave home for university in September 2012.
So far he has received offers from all his university choices and needs to whittle them down to just two by May: a 'firm' choice plus an 'insurance' choice as a back-up.
Both are asking for 3 x A grades at 'A' level.
So what happens if he doesn't get these?
For a start he needs to successfully re-sit most of his AS levels from last summer (which he failed, mainly because he was quite ill during exam week). Without good grades at AS level he won't achieve A's at A level as they count towards the results.
Will the universities offer any flexibility considering the 'mitigating circumstances' which has meant Ben missing what amounts to almost three full terms of schooling due to his anorexia?
They might. But on the other hand they might not if student numbers are high.
So it all feels like a bit of a gamble.
Of course Ben could have applied for universities which aren't asking for such high grades. But he needs the intellectual stimulus and resources offered by these two superb universities. Also both universities are relatively local, one being in our home city which is very convenient should we need to keep an eye on Ben's recovery during this period of upheaval.
So I feel as if we're taking a bit of a gamble by whittling it down to the two courses which require AAA grades.
I guess if he doesn't achieve AAAs and there is no flexibility for 'mitigating circumstances' then he can always take a year off to re-sit the exams.
It's not me being a 'pushy parent'; it's the fact that academic study, and in particular his chosen degree subject, is one of the key things that has kept Ben going through his illness. It is his passion!
Want information on eating disorders in boys? Worried your son has an eating disorder? What are the signs of eating disorders in boys? In 2009 my 15-year-old son developed anorexia. Now aged 31 and with a MSc in Psychology he is recovered & working in mental health using his experiences to help others. I help to raise awareness of eating disorders in boys, point parents to helpful resources & talk about how eating disorders can traumatise families.
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Read this post with a sigh of recognition and much nodding of agreement. It is really hard to make longer term decisions just after a period of illness like that. Hopefully by the time he gets to the end of his university course the ED will be just a distant memory so he won't want to be reminded that he had to take a place just because his exams were affected at sixth form.
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