Tuesday 15 August 2017

Basking in some serious 'me time'

One thing I have learned in the aftermath of my son's eating disorder is to 'allow' time for myself. For so many years I focused on One Thing Exclusively: my son, and his recovery from anorexia. Then, as his recovery from anorexia began to come on leaps and bounds, I blogged like crazy here, wrote books, did talks and other stuff in the world of eating disorders.

Then came the PTSD... And, increasingly with it, a sense of not knowing who I was post-eating disorder or where I was heading in life.

Over the past two or three years I've taken 'time out': a week away here and a week there to get my head together. A week without deadlines, without business clients, without anything to do with the world of eating disorders, without obligations, without timetables, (hopefully) without too much anxiety and, most importantly, without guilt.

Making yourself take 'time out' for yourself and yourself only isn't something you, as a parent in a post-eating disorder life, should feel guilty about.

It is an essential part of the healing process.

Even if it's just a luxury massage or a hair-cut...whatever takes your fancy... 'time out', in my opinion, is vital.

For me my perfect time out is a week hidden away in a country cottage with my bicycle. Like last week, where I spent a week in a pretty little cottage in East Devon, cycling during the day and chilling out in the evening.

No deadlines, no timetables, no having to think about anybody else except me.

And the weather...

Because, unfortunately, for much of the week it was torrential rain.

But I still got out on my bike.

And, actually, I experienced some amazing sights, sounds and smells: the countryside in the rain, little villages with thatched cottages with smoke curling out of the chimneys... Strangely it's the rainy bits I remember most, in a Good Way. That feeling of being completely cut off from the world, there in that hidden valley in the torrential rain. And when I feel completely cut off from the world like this, I feel calmer and more balanced.

Definitely a Good Thing To Do.

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