On Friday evening Ben and I met up with another mum (and daughter) I've 'met' through the Around the Dinner Table forum (for parents of young people with eating disorders). We were joined later by another woman I've got to know through this circle, someone who has recovered from anorexia and who I've already met for coffee a couple of times.
So there we were, all sitting 'around the dinner table' in Pizza Express and none of the other diners or staff would have been any the wiser that anything was or had been wrong with three members of our party. To all intents and purposes we were simply a group of friends having a good time.
Of course if you'd listened a little closer you might have heard the phrase 'eating disorder' mentioned in passing. But mainly we were talking about other things. And meanwhile the two teenagers (who had never met before) ate pizzas and drank wine without any outward signs of stress. The only people who could detect the almost invisible signs of anxiety were us mums. But, then, we have a sixth sense built into our DNA.
One of the good things to have come out of this nightmarish journey is new friends: other mums that 'get it' and for whom the irrational and distressing behaviours that come with ED have been as much a part of their lives as mine.
But, thankfully, on Friday night these behaviours weren't evident - just two normal, healthy looking teenagers tucking into pizza while enjoying other people's company 'around the dinner table'.
Just as it should be.
Want information on eating disorders in boys? Worried your son has an eating disorder? What are the signs of eating disorders in boys? In 2009 my 15-year-old son developed anorexia. Now aged 31 and with a MSc in Psychology he is recovered & working in mental health using his experiences to help others. I help to raise awareness of eating disorders in boys, point parents to helpful resources & talk about how eating disorders can traumatise families.
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PART FOUR of the notes I was making as my son hurtled into anorexia in late 2009...
By November 2009, my son's escalating anorexia was making him behave incredibly erratically and my stress levels were stratospheric. The...
It's so amazing how you've got a son with an eating disorder who actually goes for meals out, eats what you makes him and eats calorific food, it's amazing
ReplyDeleteThank you, Anon. Your comment is amazingly ambiguous: you are either thrilled at the way my son is recovering (which, indeed, I am) - or there is a hint of sarcasm... I'd love to know which because I'd hate to misunderstand you.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you had an enjoyable time :)
ReplyDeleteIts lovely to see friends from ATDT meeting up like this, so inspiring.
ReplyDelete