I've already explained why I started my blog, what Ben thinks of it and its two main purposes i.e. to help other parents of boys with eating disorders realise they're not alone on this journey, and to help raise awareness of the fact that boys get eating disorders as well as girls. Here's why I continue to write my blog, despite my son having been discharged from anorexia treatment in March and well on the road to recovery...
For a start, a blog needs to be kept up to date - something to do with search engines, I think. Not exactly sure of the techie science, but I know a blog needs to be kept up to date. And I worry that the people that need it won't find it if it's languishing on page #1 million of Google or I'm not posting new links on Facebook. So this is Reason #1 why I still write my blog.
Reason #2 is that, although Ben is massively recovered from anorexia, he is not fully recovered. There are still underlying issues that need sorting out - presumably similar issues to what other families may face during the later stages of anorexia. So, as well as all the posts about our descent into anorexia and back out again, Ben's recovery is still 'a work in progress' and therefore still worth writing about.
Reason #3 is that it's not just about Ben; it's about me, too. It's about how I dealt with past issues on this journey in and out of anorexia. Things that maybe I haven't yet written about, for whatever reason, and which I want to jot down 'on paper' for use in my book (when I get around to writing it...). And the blog seems as good a place as any to do this.
It's about how I continue to adjust to 'normal life' now we're through the haze of 'high anorexia'. Remember the anorexia 'stole' three years from my life as well as from Ben's. And the other day I read that parents who come through a trauma such as a child's serious illness take longer to adjust back to 'normal life' than their children.
My life has been 'on hold' for three long years and getting back into the land of the living isn't easy or quick. And if I'm going through this, I guess other parents may also go through it. Hopefully they will read this blog and say "Me too!" In the Land of ED, you can feel very isolated as a parent and you need to know that there are others out there that 'get it'.
But someone commented the other day that perhaps the reason I still write is because I can't imagine my life without the anorexia. In other words, I can't let go.
This is not true. I write for the reasons stated above.
And, when I do eventually adjust back to 'normal life' and Ben is 100% recovered from anorexia and living a full, happy and healthy life, then it will be time for me to write my book.
But I'll always be involved in the world of eating disorders, together with the many great friends I've met on this journey - purely and simply because that's what we do, and may always do.
In the same way many people continue to campaign for other causes, long after the illness or whatever it is has left their lives.
So there will always be something for me to write about.