GOOD NEWS! Incredibly, he was smiling when I picked him up from the exam marathon at lunchtime. "The exams were OK", he said. "I didn't manage to finish the conclusion to the last Politics essay and my hand is knackered from writing solid for three hours, but apart from that - fine." So, at his suggestion, we went to the MacArthur Glen shopping outlet / mall in York.
GOOD NEWS! We had lunch in Pret and he went for a massive salad (not a low calorie one), and tipped all the dressing over it. In the Old Anorexia Days, the oily dressing would have remained untouched. And, in the Very Bad Old Anorexia Days, he wouldn't have been able to choose anything on the menu at all. He would have fled the restaurant in tears.
GOOD NEWS! He had a bread roll (but not butter), then went back to buy a huge pack of toffee popcorn which he ate as we walked around the mall. In the Bad Old Anorexia Days, he wouldn't have gone for the roll, nor would he have eaten popcorn so casually. Eating had to be at set times and in a set place, otherwise he couldn't handle it.
GOOD NEWS! When I eventually left the shoe shop (after trying on zillions of shoes), there he was wandering around with a LARGE Starbucks hazelnut flavour frappuccino. In the Bad Old Anorexia Days he wouldn't have bought it period, especially a large one, and even if he had he wouldn't have been able to walk around drinking it like that. He would have had to sit down in the coffee shop; everything had to be perfect.
GOOD NEWS! We went into Thorntons and he bought a load of chocolate to replenish his chocolate supply. In the Bad Old Anorexia Days, Ben used to be drawn to chocolate shops like a magnet, never to buy, just to 'admire' the chocolates - and then go round admiring them again, maybe picking up the odd packet with a view to buying before promptly putting it down again and fleeing the shop.
And finally, GOOD NEWS! When the assistant came round wanting to know if we wanted to try a Chocolate Smile, he said "Yes please!" and popped one into his mouth. That amazed me because I think it's the first time since the ED arrived that he's said "Yes" to free food samples.
Who would have thought it this morning?
(Oh, and GOOD NEWS, I don't feel half so zombie-ish.)
A Levels are finally OVER!!!!!
(And my mum has reached Luxembourg safely. So that's two things to tick off my anxiety list.)