It's a month since he was last weighed and he's continuing to very gradually put on weight. Now, to you and me, that's a Good Thing. It's a blooming BRILLIANT thing. But - surprise, surprise - it's not Good News to Ben.
"Every time I've got on the scales recently I've put on weight!" the ED Demon wailed. "How the heck am I supposed to go out and eat meals and stuff when I find I'm putting on weight so fast?"
I'd avoided the scales for weeks. But, to be honest, I was worried he might be LOSING again. So I reluctantly agreed to weigh him.
I wish I hadn't.
Damn, why is it still such a Big Deal to him at this late stage of recovery?
Should I allow him to cut back so he maintains rather than continues to gain? And possibly risk a downward slide?
Bin the scales? And not know whether or not he's losing weight?
It's a Good Thing we've booked some sessions with our new ex-CAMHS psychologist (who used to specialise in eating disorders before she went private). I'll call her Dr Joanne here, so you know who I'm talking about over the coming weeks.
I know there are other issues bothering him, too. Mainly because, despite really trying hard, he's finding it hard to find things to do during the week.
He's working at school on Tuesday mornings, and - hopefully - he'll continue his Warhammer Club on Thursday evenings and Saturday afternoons. But he's still not met up with any of his old friends (he didn't manage to go to see his friend's band on Saturday). He's still not heard about the Games Workshop weekend job or any of the voluntary posts he's applied for, despite following all of them up several times. And, even though he's taken his CV round to scores of local shops, bars, cafes, etc - he still can't find any paid work.
So, not surprisingly, he feels quite deflated and down.
Which is probably why he was prompted to weigh himself...
Damn those scales. Damn the legacy of the eating disorder.
Want information on eating disorders in boys? Worried your son has an eating disorder? What are the signs of eating disorders in boys? In 2009 my 15-year-old son developed anorexia. Now aged 31 and with a MSc in Psychology he is recovered & working in mental health using his experiences to help others. I help to raise awareness of eating disorders in boys, point parents to helpful resources & talk about how eating disorders can traumatise families.
So sorry you are still having to deal with this.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, to me it doesn't sound like "legacy," it sounds like he is still in stage 2 / stage 3 of an eating disorder. I'd say, reassure him that more weight will help him cope with life's curveballs better. Don't cut back.
Yes, damn the scales but NO, do not let him cut back!! Let the weight go on. Regular weighing will let you know that things are stable and that he has not slid downwards.
ReplyDeleteMary Jeane (ihavehope)