Well, one thing my son Ben ISN'T up to at the moment is starting the post-graduate teacher training course (PGCE) which he was to have begun this week. Basically, he's spend the entire summer working on his Master's Degree dissertation which has to be submitted on Wednesday. He's put a heck of a lot of work into this and, to be honest, the poor guy needs a bit of a breather. Also, because of the dissertation, he's not been able to prepare for the PGCE in any way. So it made sense to postpone it.
He asked the university admissions people if he could 'defer' the course for 12 months, but it appears that he can only withdraw and re-apply, should he still wish to, next year.
Making this decision has taken a huge weight off his shoulders and removed a lot of anxiety.
(NOT eating disorder related anxiety, I hasten to add; that has long disappeared.)
And having some breathing time isn't a bad thing. It worked with his last-minute 'gap year' between school and university in 2012. He managed to fill that year with lots of useful stuff.
Meanwhile he is exploring a number of different options as a career along with possibly working as an unpaid intern in a company in order to get some experience which he can include on his CV.
Other options include taking a stop-gap job such as bar or shop work while he sorts out what he wants to do.
He is also learning to drive and has booked his driving test for next month. Yesterday he drove me to a designer outlet 25 miles away (and back) to buy some new clothes "to replace those I've grown out of".
Words like that are music to the ears of the parent of a young person who's come through anorexia.
Back in the 'bad old days' of the eating disorder, having to buy bigger clothes sizes would have said one and one thing only: "I am fat!!!"
Now it just says: "I need new clothes because, at 23 going on 24, I'm a growing man."
And here's another thing...
The exclamation "I'm knackered! I've just spent 11 hours sitting at my computer!!" [writing the dissertation] means exactly that in a post-eating disorder world.
In the 'bad old days' he would have been full of remorse and angst for spending "11 hours sitting around doing nothing" i.e. not burning calories.
So it's all good stuff here in the Matty household.
In the meantime, Ben is busy cooking our evening meal, singing at the top of his voice.
And, as I have said elsewhere in this blog, when Ben is singing, all is right with the world.
Want information on eating disorders in boys? Worried your son has an eating disorder? What are the signs of eating disorders in boys? In 2009 my 15-year-old son developed anorexia. Now aged 31 and with a MSc in Psychology he is recovered & working in mental health using his experiences to help others. I help to raise awareness of eating disorders in boys, point parents to helpful resources & talk about how eating disorders can traumatise families.
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