One of my fellow Around The Dinner Table parents has put together this excellent guide which explains what FBT (Family Based Treatment for eating disorders otherwise known as 'the Maudsley Approach') is all about. Many families have found this evidence-based eating disorders treatment model to be extremely effective. This parent has kindly allowed me to reproduce her guide here.
She says: "Many of us (not all) here follow (or have followed and been successful with) the Maudsley approach (FBT), which follows these guidelines:"
1. You prepare meals
2. Do not allow your child in the kitchen during meal prep
3. Your child should not go grocery shopping.
4. Toilet before meal and no toilet for at least an hour afterwards.
5. If purging is suspected, use an open door policy in the bathroom, or have them count or sing whilst in there. And no flushing
6. Do not negotiate - whatever you serve has to be eaten
7. Use whatever leverage you have - phone, Internet, tv - whatever they hold dear is to be removed if they refuse to eat, until they have eaten. If they're older and are not financially independent, this is your leverage
8. Separate the two - Your child is not the eating disorder
9. Detach yourself from the situation during meals. Do not get drawn into emotional discussions. THIS IS NOT UP FOR NEGOTIATION
10. Remember that your child wants to recover - the eating disorder is stopping them
11. Your child needs your permission to eat. They need you to stand up to the eating disorder as they do not have the strength to do so themselves
12. 3 meals and 3 snacks per day (supervised) - do not deviate from this. Add time limits to the meals (as a guide/goal!). Ours (and the hospitals) was 30 mins for meals and 15 mins for snacks. In the early days this could extend A LOT. I made my Ds meal times the same as they'd be at school so that when she transitioned back to full time it would be easier and less anxiety provoking.
13. High calories are needed throughout refeeding with lots of full fat dairy. Some need as much as 6,000 cals with hyper metabolism, but the norm would be minimum 3500-4000 cals (for you to track not your child)
14. When they know you will not negotiate, I promise you will see the weight lifted from their shoulders... If only for very short periods
15. BE THE CAGE that keeps eating disorder away from your child
16. When food is eaten be mum / dad again and have cuddles if they'll let you
17. 24/7 supervision - I slept with my D for 4 months - this will protect against them purging through vomiting or exercise. Many patients will exercise alone at night for hours on end when nobody else is awake.
18. All sport may need to stop in the early stages, and
for those who compulsively exercised this could be long term.
19. Be consistent, consistent consistent!
20. Don't congratulate them after a meal or say 'well done' - just cheer inwardly! Likewise when (for girls) their period returns!
21. Learn from others. I found this website with stories of other parents journey through recovery to be extremely helpful - http://www.maudsleyparents.org/familystories.html
22. Recommended reading: 'Brave Girl Eating' by Harriet Brown
23. Be prepared for resistance, and lots of it! You will find your own way to manage this, but NEVER back down. Any compromise is a win for the eating disorder. Remember, you have to see the beast to slay beast!
24. Making decisions / choices is extremely difficult for them (painful to watch). This is true in areas outside of food too. If you've tried to hand over some control of a meal or snack and notice that they are struggling, that is an indication that it is too soon and that you need to be making those decisions for them.
25. Sometimes distraction helps during meal times. That can come in the form of games,TV, music. Whatever it is you control it and it only continues with eating.
26. Lean on us - you have 24/7 support here as FEAST/ATDT is international
27. In some cases FBT isn't an option, generally if there are comorbids such as ASD and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) . It may just be that FBT needs to be tweaked, or that a different approach is needed. There are many here who have found ways to work around those comorbids or who can advise on an alternative approach which worked for them.
Looking for information on eating disorders in boys? Worried that your son has an eating disorder? How can you tell if a boy has an eating disorder? In 2009 my 15-year-old son developed anorexia. Now, aged 28, he is recovered & studying psychology in order to help others. This blog tells the story of my son's recovery from anorexia as well as raising awareness of eating disorders in boys.
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