Overcoming 'fear foods' and facing other challenges (e.g. socialising, resisting compulsive exercise, etc) used to be a real sticking point - until we introduced the Recovery Contract.
As well as checking the day's calories, keeping an eye on exercise parameters and generally talking about how the day has gone, the Contract encourages 'challenges', with points awarded for each challenge, depending on how 'challenging' it has been.
Then, when a challenge has morphed into a permanent change and is no longer a challenge, we move the focus to something else, all the time focusing on what is and isn't 'normal behaviour' and why 'normal' is what Ben should be aiming at.
After all, the anorexia has already stolen two years of his life... arguably some of the best and potentially most exciting years of his life... and we don't want it to steal any more.
Every day Ben faces a couple of challenges (or more) which he chooses himself. I never insist he tries to overcome any particular challenge, however I do gently and discreetly suggest / discuss areas where changes could be made or where he might 'test the water'.
We're currently in Week 18 of the Contract and, although the weight gain hasn't been as consistent as I would like (yet), the challenges are a real success story.
One of yesterday's challenges, for example, was "standing / sitting still all afternoon" which is something the 'anorexia voice' still nags him about. He also had a huge "condensed calories" breakfast "even though I felt full half way through, I still did it".
And today's challenges? "I'm not sure yet", he says, "It depends really. I'll be doing this, that and the other, probably to do with my lunch. But the thing is it's no longer a challenge if I'm finding something easy or don't need to think about it."
Great stuff.
Want information on eating disorders in boys? Worried your son has an eating disorder? What are the signs of eating disorders in boys? In 2009 my 15-year-old son developed anorexia. Now aged 31 and with a MSc in Psychology he is recovered & working in mental health using his experiences to help others. I help to raise awareness of eating disorders in boys, point parents to helpful resources & talk about how eating disorders can traumatise families.
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