Monday 4 July 2011

Worried about the summer hols again...

I'm worried that Ben isn't socialising much recently, if at all. Socialising was always a sticky issue with the eating disorder and, after a period of improvement, I worry we've gone backwards on this count. The summer holidays (vacation) starts on Friday and I'm concerned that Ben will spend much of it alone, despite prompts from us to 'find things to do' over the summer...


It's all too easy for Ben to spend time with us rather than socialising with people his own age. As a result there's been a huge amount of pressure on us as parents over the last 24 months. At our stage of life most parents are busy adjusting to the fact that the chicks have flown the nest, or are about to. In our household, the chick is extremely reluctant to leave the cosy confines of the parental nest and socialise with his friends. And the prospect of 8 or so weeks depending on (primarily) me for 'entertainment' isn't healthy or ideal.

Last summer Ben was going through the evil stage of 'high anorexia'. By then he had completely cut himself off from his friends and wasn't in a fit mental state to do any successful socialising. The odd attempt at contacting friends was disastrous e.g. when he emailed one of his friends to say "Give me 3 good reasons why I should carry on living..." Result? An urgent phone call from that friend's mother telling me how upset her son was at the email and total panic from me!!

The previous summer as Ben started to exhibit the early signs of anorexia, he swapped his friends for hour upon hour at the gym or running around the local streets. When he wasn't doing this, he was frantically 'de-calorising and de-fatting' recipes to "make them more healthy". The alarm bells had started ringing as it became increasingly clear that things weren't as they should be...

But I can't help feeling that he's at the stage where he REALLY SHOULD be socialising more with his friends and relying on us, his parents, for 'entertainment' less.

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