Saturday 20 August 2011

And now for the Good News...

... which is the sheer number of food 'challenges' Ben did while on our mini-break in Somerset and Devon. Included in the blitz on 'fear foods' was: a Mars Bar, 2 packets of high calorie / fat crisps, a Solero lolly, M&S 'ultimate' sandwich and a meal from Pizza Express. Plus, apart from the blip in Bath, everything was very relaxed - a complete contrast to last time I stayed in that apartment overlooking the sea.


  1. I'm really glad Ben managed all those challenges!!

    Have you noticed any sort of patterns to the episodes of freaking out? I ask because I know that before I was fully weight restored, if my blood sugar got a little low before a meal I would absolutely freak the hell out - have trouble deciding what to eat, make mistakes preparing it, cry, throw things in the bin, end up in a hyperventilating heap on the floor. The smallest decision was overwhelming, and it took all of my concentration to calm myself down and actually choose something to make/eat. It was like a dip in blood sugar would bring back the ED full force, even if I'd been absolutely fine the whole rest of the week. Even now I get anxious if, say, I'm hungry at a restaurant with a half hour wait for food, and I can't decide what to eat. It's not even an eating disordered thing any more, I just can't make decisions when I'm hungry. So I'm wondering if Ben had waited a little longer than usual to eat that day, or had been more active or something like that. Blood sugar is a massive pain in the butt! Pretty much every recovering person will tell you the same thing about the correlation between getting too hungry and making decisions about what to eat.

  2. Maybe, Katie, but we deliberately had an early lunch so we could get in the queue for the Roman Baths(which is just as well considering we went on to have a 'second lunch' in the M&S cafe...!)

    Ben says he thinks it may have been because he'd been doing so many challenges, day after day after day, that everything just got too much for him and his brain imploded. But, as I said above, the Good News is that he didn't give in to the ED and went on to have a succession of challenge foods afterwards.

  3. Brain implosion sounds like a good description of what it feels like to be in the middle of an attack like that! I remember all too well :/