I do wish our treatment team wouldn't tell Ben that it's OK to aim for a sub-optimum final weight because this makes it really difficult if not impossible for me to guide him towards a proper weight normalisation. They should watch this video produced for Janet Treasure which focuses on why it's so important to get properly weight restored and not settle for partial weight restoration in order to attain full brain healing, have the chance of a life free of anorexic thinking and minimise the risk of relapse.
And in answer to the person who commented asking why can't I "just be happy" with the way things are, I'd say this.
If Ben had any other chronic illness and had every chance of a full recovery, would you not think it negligent of me, as a parent, to refuse him any additional medication or whatever else was required to attain full and complete healing and elimination of the pain?
Want information on eating disorders in boys? Worried your son has an eating disorder? What are the signs of eating disorders in boys? In 2009 my 15-year-old son developed anorexia. Now aged 31 and with a MSc in Psychology he is recovered & working in mental health using his experiences to help others. I help to raise awareness of eating disorders in boys, point parents to helpful resources & talk about how eating disorders can traumatise families.
Anorexia isn't really about weight, most anorexics stay underweight for the rest of their life, as long as he's eating like a normal person that should be the last thing on your mind. Anorexic-thinking is fixating on weight and calories, you're feeding that obsession.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, Is it an evidence-based fact that "most anorexics stay underweight for the rest of their life"?
ReplyDeleteAnonymous doesn't know much up to date thinking about eating disorders :/ and that's sad. If anonymous HAS an eating disorder themselves, it means they don't understand that they can fully recover. If anonymous is just spouting their mouth off, they are only showing their ignorance.
ReplyDeleteAttaining and maintaining a healthy weight is essential to recovery, because being underweight and restricting alters your brain function in such a way as to CAUSE many symptoms of eating disorders. Don't tell Batty to accept anything less than full recovery for her son, she's not that kind of person.
I'm anorexic and I'm 18, I've been in and out of hospital since I was 14, and I've met many other anorexics, bulimics and binge eaters and people with EDNOS. Lots of recovered ones too who are still tiny. My mum had anorexia in the 80s and she's ztill 7st. It's wishful thinking that any anorexic will want to gain, some do yes, but others still need that control.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, I used to think like you. I had an eating disorder for over a decade. I'm a healthy weight now. Anorexia isn't really "about" control - people who go on to develop anorexia have a genetically determined predisposition towards it, which often means they share personality traits such as perfectionism, difficulty with change and a need for a sense of control. But this doesn't mean that anorexia is a legitimate way of controlling your life or your environment. Anorexia occurs when someone with this predisposition becomes a little bit underweight or malnourished, whether that happens through dieting, stress, trauma, whatever. Being malnourished causes even healthy people to develop symptoms of eating disorders, but in someone with this predisposition it sort of locks them into the anorexic pattern of behaviour.
ReplyDeleteThis is why full weight restoration is essential. I thought like you when I was 18 - I accepted that I would keep my weight a little low for the rest of my life. But it's unsustainable. You can't have half an eating disorder - at some point it will get back out of hand and kill you. Now I am fully weight restored and in full remission. No eating disordered thoughts, urges or behaviours.
If you want to talk my email is giantfossilizedarmadillo@gmail.com - if there's anything I can do to help, any questions you have, feel free to email me. Sorry for hijacking your post Batty, but it makes me so sad when people with eating disorders don't get told that full recovery is possible.