A few weeks ago, I was interviewed for a national newspaper about eating disorders in boys and to talk about my son's battle with anorexia and eventual full recovery. I'm so grateful for that opportunity to raise awareness of the fact that boys and men get eating disorders like anorexia. But then another publication contacted me, also wanting to raise awareness that boys get eating disorders. I said yes, I'd be happy to be interviewed. But it's not going to happen, and here's why...
Unfortunately they wanted me to sign a contract which I couldn't agree to. Why couldn't I agree? Because it effectively said that I wouldn't be able to talk to any other media for a full three months after publication - whenever publication might be.
I emailed them back to say:
Unfortunately I can't agree to Point 1. It may be that no other media contacts me within 3 months from publication, but (a) I don't know when your article might be published - it could be weeks away - which would mean I wouldn't be able to raise awareness of this deadly illness and how it affects boys just as much as girls - for potentially months, and (b) the reason I blog, write, do talks and media interviews is solely to raise awareness of this horrible illness and to help other parents.
I am sure you will understand that I can't, in effect, say no to helping other parents and raising awareness for what might be months! I am happy to agree to the other points, but not Point 1 as I believe it is so important to raise awareness and help other families.
This is not a sensationalist story - it is a deadly serious story. Young people die [from eating disorders]. Knowing about how deadly eating disorders can be, how could I agree to your Point 1 knowing that I'd be effectively forbidden to help other parents via any media enquiries and all the other things I do?
I hope you understand the above. Best wishes
They replied, saying "That’s fine, I completely understand."
What I wanted them to say was: "That's fine, I completely understand and we are willing to be flexible in this instance because of the fact that the word needs to get out there that boys get eating disorders too - we understand that your story isn't a 'scoop' or sensationalist. Like you, we want to help our readership to identify eating disorders in boys, to show that others have been through the same nightmare and, most importantly, to show that there is hope while not preventing you for continuing to raise awareness of eating disorders in boys and males".
But they didn't.
So, I sent an email back saying:
It's such a shame that there isn't flexibility in your contract, because ours isn't a 'scoop' or a sensationalist story. Your readership may include families for whom our story would have been tremendous help at a terrifying time in their lives, but sadly they won't read about it or get the links to the support they need which I include in our story - or, of course, realise that there can be hope; that young people can and do recover, and, in the case of my son who now works in mental health services, can go on to do amazing things by helping others..
Best wishes
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