PART FOUR of the notes I was making as my son hurtled into anorexia in late 2009...

By November 2009, my son's escalating anorexia was making him behave incredibly erratically and my stress levels were stratospheric. The simplest thing could send Ben into a nightmarish yelling and banging-head spiral. 

This was especially horrific if we were eating in public as this Pizza Express incident from late 2009 shows. And, remember, this is while we were still on the long waiting list for eating disorder treatment, so my husband and I were desperately trying to halt the progress Ben's anorexia on our own.

I'm wondering if any of this rings a bell with you, if you're worried your son might be developing an eating disorder? That's why I've decided to publish the journal notes I made during the last few months of 2009. It's quite lengthy, so this is Part Four - written in note form.

From my 2009 Journal Notes.docx file (Part Four):

November 2009

Theatre and Pizza Express incident. 

Our son liked to 'admire' cakes (in a cafe or shop) in the way you or I might admire paintings in a gallery. 

Of course he would never eat any. 

He was reasonably OK until theatre in afternoon when we took a drink and a slice of fat free tea loaf as a snack. 

Took a swig of the drink and didn't eat the tea loaf. 

At the interval was obsessed with showing me the array of cakes available in the café but of course had no intention of eating any of them.

Then we went to Pizza Express, having agreed in advance what he was going to have via the PE website which lists calories. 

As he had tonnes of calories left [I was trying to get him to eat a certain number of calories based on what I was reading online about eating disorders like anorexia] he went with the suggestion of a normal pizza rather than the low calorie one he almost chose. 

However he left around a quarter of it, including all the outer crust. 

Instead of going for the agreed fruit juice he went for a diet drink. 

At the end he had a frenzy about the fact the pizza was bland and he hadn't enjoyed it. 

This grew into a bigger frenzy which meant we had to leave the restaurant pretty quickly as Ben walked out. 

He ran from us, along the main road. 

Eventually we found him standing on the kerb edge as if he was going to run in front of a bus. 

There followed a MASSIVE scene as we walked home including some violence towards me. Loud screaming hysterics. 

After more of this plus his dad breaking down once we got home, Ben calmed down and made one of his sundaes and watched the telly. 

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Looking for support? 

F.E.A.S.T. is an international charity that supports parents and carers of young people with eating disorders. It was a lifesaver for us.

• FEAST website (Families Empowered and Supporting the Treatment of Eating Disorders).
• FEAST's Forum 
• FEAST's (private) Facebook group (ATDTfb - Eating Disorder Family and Carer Support)