Right from the start of this blog in 2011, I've pointed families towards the charity, FEAST, the online network that supports parents and carers of young people with eating disorders through its website, forum and facebook group. Now that I'm kind of able to dip back into the world of eating disorders, following a lengthy battle with Complex PTSD, I've been talking with FEAST about possibly becoming one of their parent support volunteers. But first, I've been going through a stack of learning material to bring me up to date with evidence-based treatment and practice in treating adolescents with eating disorders like anorexia. It's an emotional journey!
The mix of emotions is enormous. Memories of our family's battle with anorexia, of course, which brings back a massive spectrum of emotions.
But also a great deal of anger at how virtually everything in our son's eating disorder treatment was the complete opposite of what is now considered to be the go-to evidence-based treatment of eating disorders in adolescents: Family Based Therapy (see this page on the FEAST website for more information on FBT for eating disorders).
Over dozens and dozens of therapy sessions for my c-PTSD over the last 10 years, I've often been told that anger is bad. That it's something I must overcome. That the eating disorder years are over - in the past - and I should "move on".
But more recently, I've realised that some anger is actually Good.
Because "good anger" makes people do stuff.
History is packed with good things that were achieved because people were angry in a good, constructive, practical and active way.
Anger is partly what drew me to writing this blog from 2011 onwards. And my website and book.
Anger is partly why I've always wanted to do my tiny bit to help other families to avoid going through what we went through in terms of slow diagnosis and referral, and out-dated eating disorder treatment, along with pointing families towards fantastic support. I always say that FEAST and its forum were lifesavers. Literally.
I want these resources to help other families, too, in the way they helped us.
Yes, I am massively angry about our experiences with health professionals from 2009 onwards which made my son's anorexia worse, not better, and which I believe prolonged it, resulting in time that can never be recouped from my son's journey to adulthood.
But I'm no longer pushing this anger away and trying to force myself to "move on".
After all, the eating disorder, and the fight to get my son treated properly, took up a huge chunk of our lives, so how the heck can I forget it and put it behind me?
I am hoping that my emotions don't get too triggered by this re-visit to the world of eating disorders and that, in some way other than my blog, book and website, I can help other parents know that they are not alone - that others have been through this and come out the other side.
That full recovery is possible.
Getting there is punishingly hard, but it's a tiny bit less hard when you have other parents supporting you on the journey, as I found from 2010 when I first discovered the FEAST community and the amazing parents that are part of it, many of whom are still close friends.
And many of whom went over and above in offering support - like the incredible UK mum Charlotte who helped so many of us before cancer took her in 2014.
I feel teary just thinking about Charlotte.
I've got a few more weeks to go before I've been through all the information FEAST has sent me so I'm not only completely up to date with evidence-based treatment for eating disorders but also up to date in the tools that families can use to get their children to eat and get well.
So watch this space...
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Looking for support?
F.E.A.S.T. is an international charity that supports parents and carers of young people with eating disorders. It was a lifesaver for us.
- FEAST website (Families Empowered and Supporting the Treatment of Eating Disorders).
- FEAST's Forum
- FEAST's (private) Facebook group (ATDTfb - Eating Disorder Family and Carer Support)
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