As if to rub salt into the wound...

Like some dreadful pop song you can't get out of your head, the School Song has been playing in my mind on a non-stop loop since it was sung in the school chapel on Sunday. I went to bed trying to push it out of my head. It was there at each of the 5 or 6 times I awoke during the night and it is still here this morning.

The gleaming spires of Christminster

In Thomas Hardy's 'Jude the Obscure', Jude dreams of aspiring to the 'gleaming spires of Christminster' (university) which he could see in the distance. For several years, when Ben was small, I'd drive home from work over the high moorland looking towards my own 'gleaming spires', as I referred to Ben's school back then.

Like a bolt of lightening

I was completely unprepared for the way it hit me yesterday - the sheer force of heart-break emotions as, there in front of me, stood 'what might have been' or, rather, 'what SHOULD have been' if it wasn't for the way the eating disorder had stolen such a massive chunk from Ben's teenage life.

I have all the material; I just need to formulate the book!

A while ago I mentioned that I'd like to write a book about my experiences as a parent of a teenage boy with anorexia. Following that, I sat down and collated a truck-load of information, including all the stuff from this blog. Then I worked on structure after structure, creating umpteen different documents on my computer. Result? Chaos!

Have you joined the ATDT forum yet?

What is the ATDT (Around The Dinner Table) forum? It is a forum aimed at supporting parents of young people who are suffering from the full range of eating disorders, including anorexia and bulimia. Some of these parents are new members, others are 'old timers' like me, now into my third year on the forum.

Back to the university's Disrupted Studies form...

Cue Version One Zillion as I attempt to construct the framework for Ben to write a supporting statement for the Disrupted Studies form, explaining more about how the anorexia has affected his studies over the past two and a half years. When I say 'framework', I mean something that he can take and put into his own words. It's important to get this right. After all, the university knows very little about Ben's background over and above the limited space allowed on the UCAS University Application Form.

So what role has Ben's dad played in all this?

I am aware that I don't often mention my husband and his role in managing Ben's recovery from anorexia. That's mainly because, for the first year or so, he was working away from home. Poor bloke - all he ever got was grief over the telephone as we lurched from one crisis to another. "I'll phone Dad" was a threat I'd use when Ben's behaviour got completely out of control. Not that it did any good and it only upset his dad who, no doubt, felt pretty helpless on the other side of the country.