Sunday 22 May 2011

Kentucky Fried Chicken ad makes me think back...

Watching a Kentucky Fried Chicken ad on the telly yesterday reminded me of one of the very early indicators that all was not right with our son, back in the summer of 2009. It was early August and H, Ben, Ben's friend and me had gone down to London for my sister-in-law's birthday party - a lively drinks and buffet party at her home. I was vaguely aware that Ben wasn't eating much - just picking at the buffet now and again, and being very selective with what he ate.


On the return journey we stopped off at a motorway service station for something to eat. While we three tucked into some (not very nice) Kentucky Fried Chicken, Ben went off to see what else he could find to eat. Ages later he came back with a sandwich and I was acutely aware that here we were, H, me and Ben's friend, eating our meal yet Ben had gone AWOL to locate something "more healthy" to eat. These were just two occurrences that indicated that something odd was happening. Meanwhile, the previous month we'd been on holiday to France where Ben was swimming 100 (short) lengths of the villa pool and going for a run every single day. He was also avoiding snacks like ice creams...

Thinking about this really brought it home that, had Ben been a girl, some alarm bells might have started ringing in my head at this early stage. As a parent of a girl I might have been more tuned in to what were the early stages of an eating disorder manifesting itself. But as a parent of a boy, it never entered my head. Eating disorders didn't even feature on our radar. I had an inkling something wasn't right, but I didn't know what.

This continued throughout the summer holidays as Ben swapped socialising for punishing daily trips to the local gym followed by runs or cycling. He became obsessed with "healthy eating" and marvelled at the way he could "slim down" recipes. He became a keen cook.

His mood started to change, too, as he began to withdraw into himself. But it took until late September before I was prompted to take him along to the GP...

The point is... I'm not sure how many parents of teenage boys are aware that their son could succumb to an eating disorder, just like a girl can. I can't be unique in that all the warning signs were there but I failed to "put two and two together" and take early action. From the first signs in July 2009 to our first CAMHS appointment we waited 8 months. It was a further 8 months (October 2010) before we noticed any positive changes and Ben finally started to turn a corner.

Would he be further ahead in the recovery process if I had been more clued up about eating disorders as something that can affect boys as well as girls? Or does it take as long for the penny to drop with parents of girls, too?

I guess no parent expects their child might develop an eating disorder...

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