CAMHS can of worms?

Sometimes I wonder if our CAMHS visits are just opening up a can of worms that is better left on the shelf... What I mean is... Ben and I are pretty close. These days he's happy to talk to me about pretty much anything to do with his eating disorder and anything else, basically because he knows I "get it". We're also very similar people. I know the current issues as regards his recovery and everything is going reasonably well, despite the odd blip which is only normal in what is bound to be a bumpy ride to a certain extent. Basically, I believe I know pretty much what is going on inside his head these days...


At this stage we go along to our CAMHS meetings wondering what needs discussing. In fact I asked Ben if we'd be better off reducing the number of sessions to, say, fortnightly rather than weekly as I often feel I'm more helpful to Ben than they are, especially since we started the Recovery Contract.

Then we get to CAMHS and the team gets out the can opener and opens a can of worms i.e. we start discussing something in-depth that I'm not at all sure is helpful. Yes it's stuff that's still there, there's quite a bit still there, but sometimes analysing stuff can be less helpful than dealing with it as you go along. Or talking about it when you feel like it, not when it's forced out of you.

In other words I sometimes feel that CAMHS delve deep into Ben's soul and bring up stuff just for the sake of it, rubbing salt into a would that would be better left to heal itself in the fresh air.

I can always tell when this is happening because Ben starts to get flushed patches on his face and gets quite annoyed, with what can only be described as a "What the hell are we talking about THIS for?" expression on his face...

Difficult to explain what I mean, but as a mum you have a certain gut instinct about these things...

What definitely isn't helpful is when CAMHS start discussing target weight. It's usually fine when there's just the psychiatrist present, but for some reason her colleague (who sometimes sits in on our session) goes all over the place with regards to Ben's weight, throwing spanner after spanner into the works.

One week she's saying he's under the healthy weight for his age and height (which he is) and then the next she's implying he's OK as he is - and could, in effect, choose to stay that weight if he so desires... (Music to an Anorexia sufferer's ears, hey...)

One moment she's calculating his BMI as under 18.3 and then, without his core weight actually having changed at all, stating he's over 21 BMI...

These mixed messages are NOT OK. They confuse Ben and they result in him looking "daggers" at me, accusing me of "forcing" him to "get fat" because I insist that he needs to put on more weight.

Looking at the World Health Organisation BMI chart-for-age for boys, Ben is way underweight (which I quoted to her today)... So I'm not picking out a weight from the ether...

Also the psychiatrist regularly agrees that Ben is UNDER the healthy weight for his age, sex and height. Then her colleague chips in and spanners go flying into the works...

Result = the kind of triangulation undercurrents so loved by Ed, the Anorexia Demon, who never misses anything like that. (Says she from bitter experience...)

As you and I know all too well, everyone involved (treatment team and parents) has to be on the SAME PAGE when it comes to recovery otherwise Ed zooms in and takes advantage of the discord...

The Good News was that at the end of the session they actually suggested that we reduce our sessions which is not a Bad Thing, hey... And I may suggest we only need to see the psychiatrist from now onwards...