A few months ago it was the table; yesterday it was the heavy arm chair which Ben picked up and threw across the room at our CAMHS session before punching the wall and walking out. Thankfully he eventually returned and we were able to resume our session. Then, to rub salt into the wound, we returned to my car to find it had been "keyed" all the way along the side resulting in what will be around £150-worth of work to put right. So not a good afternoon, all in all...
The trigger for the furniture-throwing? Ben was brimming with nervous energy - the kind that's set to explode at any minute. He desperately wanted to be weighed, but the scales session isn't until next Friday and CAMHS weren't going to give in (all credit to them).
Yet again it was the old familiar story of being sure he's put on "loads of weight" during the week. "If you came back next week and found you hadn't put on loads of weight, how would you feel?" asked the psych. "Happy, relaxed and able to continue with eating extra calories and challenge foods," he said. Something we have heard umpteen times over the last year or so... And then it would be pretty much the same story the following week, etc etc etc.
He was convinced he'd had a "binge" on Sunday night, a result of "greed". The pysch asked for a breakdown of exactly what he'd had. Much of it, if not all of it, was within the calorie allowance plus the 100-200 we challenge him to go over when he feels that he can. Things like bread and jam, a handful of healthy cereal, a few pieces of dried fruit and nuts and a couple of Hob Nob biscuits...
"So not really what most boys of your age would consider a 'binge'," said the psych...
Hopefully one of the odd 'blips' we get in the recovery process...
Poor thing! I remember all too well the anxiety I felt over eating "too much" or gaining "too quickly" in recovery. Sometimes I did have big jumps from one week to the next, then of course I would focus on those and forget all of the weeks when my weight had only increased by a tiny amount. My perspective on the situation didn't come back until I had been maintaining a healthy weight for about six months. Now I can see where all the holes in my thinking were. The annoying thing is that I know if I were to relapse I would lose that perspective again, it's entirely dependent on keeping my weight and intake up. Brains are strange things :/
ReplyDeleteI hope Ben reaches the same state of perspective with time - I'm sure he will, you're doing a great job :)
(tis Katie from facebook by the way...)
Thanks for the insight, GFSA.com. Yet again this emphasises why it's so important that my son is allowed to reach his natural WR weight rather than an artificial, lower final weight. I feel another entry coming on... ;)
ReplyDeleteSorry that the ED has reared its ugly face again at this time but all credit to Ben for coming back, all credit to you for dealing with it, and credit to the psych too. Whatever their other faults CAMHS services at least seem to be able to cope with distressed teens behaving as, well, distressed teens. We found as soon as we got to adult services one f word and it was "personality disorder" and "abusive behaviour" even when the person doing it was still a teenager and mentally and emotionally a young one at that - I feel an f word coming on just remembering it.
ReplyDeleteFor you I hope that the progress continues and that these episodes become fewer and fewer and eventually fade.