What about the starving children in Africa, Ben?

Ben and I spent a highly insightful hour sitting at the dinner table last night. One of the topics we covered was the starving children of Somalia and how, back at the start of the anorexia, I could never get my head round why children in affluent Western countries 'chose' to starve themselves whereas many Third World children have no choice.

One of the most successful aspects of our Recovery Contract

Overcoming 'fear foods' and facing other challenges (e.g. socialising, resisting compulsive exercise, etc) used to be a real sticking point - until we introduced the Recovery Contract.

Back to reality and sorting out all those outstanding ED bits and pieces

Now that our successful week's holiday is over and Ben has finally ordered his new Xbox (putting some of the 'points money' towards it) it's back to reality and working on all those outstanding eating disorder bits and pieces that still remain.

A virtually ED-free holiday, all in all, and 1kg heavier...

Back home - and I am very pleased about how the week has gone. The eating disorder was virtually absent; the only way you might guess something wasn't quite normal was that Ben was counting calories and I was keeping a discreetly watchful eye on things. Also, Ben is still quite thin. But he IS 1kg heavier than when I last weighed him 2 weeks ago. Compare this to last year when we returned from France having taken CAMHS' advice and "ignored" the eating disorder and "taken a holiday" from calorie counting. Ha ha ha ha, I KNEW I was right all along when my gut instinct screamed that was completely the wrong route to take...

So far, so relaxed... so much better than last year...

Last summer, in France and ESPECIALLY on a 'get away from ED' break I took to Somerset in August, I was so incredibly stressed and anxious my whole body actually physically 'seized up' at one point (unhelpfully when I was driving down the motorway...) This summer's mini-holiday / vacation in the Peak District couldn't be a starker contrast I am thrilled to say.

It's raining, it's pouring... but so far so good on vacation as regards ED...

It's Sunday evening and it's been raining virtually all day here in the beautiful Staffordshire Peak District which means trying to keep everyone occupied all day ('everyone' includes husband who has been able to come here for the weekend but goes home tomorrow). But, so far, ED has kept a reasonably low profile.

Ben, me, the Contract, kitchen scales and plenty of food, but not ED...

Okay, so we haven't made it to France this year and, anyway, last year I vowed I'd NEVER go on holiday / vacation again until the eating disorder was well and truly GONE. But, having said this, Ben and I are about to embark on a few days away in a country cottage in the Peak District. Unfortunately husband can't come due to work pressures, so he's staying at home.

Sheffield University challenge...

Yesterday saw us back at Sheffield University, this time looking at another department with me taking Ben on an extensive walking tour of my former favourite haunts as a student in that lovely, friendly city. ED came too, however. Okay he was a faint shadow of his former bullying self, but he was there, tagging along with us throughout the day...

True soul food on the ATDT parents' forum...

I know I keep going on about how much of a lifesaver the Around The Dinner Table parents' forum has been for me over the past 18 months, but it's true. I've met so many supportive people through it, from across the globe, and made a number of very good friends here in the UK.

"Experiments", "choices" and "mistakes"... aaarrrggghh!

If I had £10 for every time these words have been mentioned over the last 20 months of eating disorder treatment, I'd be rich! I believe our slow progress on the weight gain front, indeed the lack of progress on the weight gain front, is entirely due to our treatment team's insistence on letting Ben "make his own choices". All the modern evidence points towards this as being the anorexia treatment equivalent of being prescribed leeches "to draw out ill humors from the blood"...

Stuck for solutions on the socialising front...

He's still having serious problems integrating with his friends and finds it all to easy to flee from the problem. Having thrown all the ideas and solutions I can think of into the pot, I really am at a loss for what to suggest next. So I've posted a new thread on the really brilliant Around The Dinner Table Forum to see what the other Mums of teenagers with eating disorders think. Read it here>>

Trying to pick up where you left off before you took off for Planet ED...

We had a 'heated discussion' last night, shall we say, about the problems Ben is having trying to pick up where he left off with his friends and peers, before the eating disorder arrived on the scene 2 years ago.

Worried about the summer hols again...

I'm worried that Ben isn't socialising much recently, if at all. Socialising was always a sticky issue with the eating disorder and, after a period of improvement, I worry we've gone backwards on this count. The summer holidays (vacation) starts on Friday and I'm concerned that Ben will spend much of it alone, despite prompts from us to 'find things to do' over the summer...

Chatting to the same person on the same grassy bank, 2 years on...

Yesterday was the school Prize Day followed by the house Sports Day in the afternoon. Last year, at the height of Ben's anorexia, we didn't go to either. But this year we went to both - and Ben was helping out at the Sports Day, so I spent the afternoon sitting in the sun on the grassy bank overlooking the playing fields, just as I'd done 2 years ago when Ben was competing the 1500m race. And just as I'd done 2 years ago I got talking to the mum of the boy who Ben had beaten in that race. "Haven't seen you around for AGES!!" she exclaimed, reminding me of how she and I used to gossip merrily away during our sons' rugby matches every Saturday morning.

Lemon meringue pie, spicy Mexican pork and chicken tikka masala

All are currently being cooked by Ben - a bizarre combination of smells, but no doubt delicious when they're all finished! In the 'high anorexia days' he wouldn't have eaten ANY of these things. There are still 'no go' foods on his list, however...