My punishment for juggling too many balls recently, me thinks, but I've been really poorly this week. Thankfully I'm a lot better today and Ben has been so sweet looking after me, serving up non-stop home-made 'comfort food' from mini Chelsea buns, chocolate brownies and chocolate mini egg nests to apple crumble and custard, sticky chewy datey bars and amaretti biscuits to dunk in reviving cocoa. And, yes, he has been eating these things too - and more, including the twice weekly Graze Box I now get for him.
It's Easter weekend from tomorrow onwards and this is the first Easter since the eating disorder started that I haven't celebrated the occasion. We don't even have any Easter Eggs. Not because Ben didn't want any; he did, and he wanted the most chocolatey of all. But because I've been so poorly I suggested we do the Easter Egg run next week when eggs are reduced in price and celebrate Easter next weekend when we're all feeling better. And when we won't have the visitors in the house which my husband has announced are coming to stay this weekend... (But that's another moan altogether...)
But we don't seem to be celebrating Easter religiously, either. Usually Ben wants to get out the various Easter Story dramas on DVD, but this Easter there's been no mention of it.
And we won't be going to church.
I've had too much on my plate this week to carry on feeling angry or bitter. But I want to make it clear that the church hasn't been unpleasant or condemning to us in any way; that would make me REALLY angry... They've just pretty much forgotten about us and left us alone.
I just think it's terribly sad that they talk so much about reaching out to help others, at home and overseas. And yet when the people in need come to them unannounced, they're too blind to see it.
Right from Day One in Church #One I had a problem with this concept.