I've got a bit of a dilemma. Before and during my son's eating disorder, I was the kind of person that campaigned for things. During the eating disorder it was, obviously, to raise awareness of eating disorders in boys through this blog, my books, talks and so on. Now, post-eating-disorder, I am completely burned out. The very thought of campaigning for anything sends me scuttling for the security of my bed. It's why I've had to put any eating disorder advocacy 'on hold' for the moment and why I've been somewhat AWOL with this blog and my Facebook page.
The other week an old school pal nominated me to help with a local campaign. Me, being me, was unable to say no. It was OK while it was fairly low key; just a Facebook page on this particular cause and nothing more. I think he asked me to help because I'm a copywriter and might be able to write compelling Facebook posts, etc.
But now this campaign is getting BIG. It's attracting lots of local interest from councillors, the media and so on. It threatens to grow from a simple Facebook page to something MASSIVE that will demand a heck of a lot of input, energy, research, lobbying, campaigning, fundraising, liaising, etc etc etc.
My dilemma is that this development has triggered my anxiety levels to stratospheric levels.
I simply can't face being a key campaigner at this new, explosive level.
Not only am I completely burned out on the campaigning front but, after the eating disorder, I'd find it virtually impossible to get fired up about any cause that didn't involve life-and-death issues, no matter how worthy or worthwhile.
My dilemma is that I don't want to let the old school pal down. He's a nice guy. I just need someone else to come on board and take over from me before this tips me over the edge. Which means that I'm going to have to tell him about what I'm going through (the PTSD) and why i.e. my son's anorexia. And I, like many others, hate the idea of 'airing my dirty washing in public' i.e. admitting to having mental health issues which, to many people I expect, may mean I'm a little crazy.
But mainly I don't want to let this guy down.