Thursday 12 March 2015

Thank you, some great responses on Facebook

I recently came across an old Chinese saying which went along the lines of (and I paraphrase!): Look after Number One before you begin to think about looking after anyone / anything else. Or something like that. So I wrote Look After No1 in my desk diary for this week, just in case I forgot to follow that wise advice. And, from the responses to the link to yesterday's blog on my Facebook page, it seems that everyone is saying the same. I shouldn't feel guilty about saying sorry, no, I can't take this on - and this is why... And that my own recovery comes first. Which is, of course, totally true. Thank you to everyone that came back with wonderful, caring comments. I really do appreciate it.

So yesterday I attempted to explain to the guy that this cause / campaign thing was getting too big. I could just about handle it at a low level, while it's still little more than a Facebook page and a couple of press interviews. But a massive campaign that may require enormous commitment, lobbying, researching, meetings, committees, fundraising, blah blah blah, well sorry but I can't do that. If things get that big then he will need to take someone else on. Probably a whole committee. And these people will need to be passionate about this cause in a way that I can't be, no matter how worthwhile.

I reminded him that I'd said a few weeks ago that I was 'campaigned-out' after all the eating disorder 'stuff' which I'd already told him about in a very brief nutshell.

I told him that I was supposed to be studying for an MA this year but had had to postpone it due to ill health. I told him that I was being treated for PTSD as a result of the fallout from all the eating disorder 'stuff', although I'm not sure whether he really got that or not. The thing is, because of all this, I simply can't commit to this cause in the way someone should...

Anyhow, I put my case across. But I agreed to have one more meeting with Someone Important which Someone Important had been offering to have with us. So I'll arrange that and attend, and then delegate...

I knew I'd done the right thing, but I did feel pretty wretched. Mainly because I really do hate 'airing my dirty washing in public' and admitting to stuff that I tend to keep to myself.

Except to people that 'get it', like you all do.

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