As you probably gathered, for the whole of 2014 and a few months either side, I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). In total I must have undergone 50-odd (private and NHS) sessions of various types of therapy. Last week saw my final NHS appointment with Zoe, the truly amazing and lovely (primarily) EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) therapist.
As you may also have gathered, I have been back in the world of eating disorders - back blogging, back on my Facebook page, back creating PDFs of my blogs for anyone that would like copies (get in touch if you would like copies), talking to other parents and back on the incredible ATDT (Around The Dinner Table) forum (for parents of young people with eating disorders). After switching most eating disorder related Facebook notifications 'off', I have today switched them back on again.
For the first time for well over a year I am able to face the world of eating disorders without any PTSD triggers, flashbacks or whatever.
For me, considering how my mind has been over the past umpteen months, this is a massive step forward. A step that, during the worst PTSD days, I wasn't sure I would ever be able to make again. Until I found myself deep in the depths of mental health problems, I don't think I entirely understood how helpless you can feel when you are unwell in this way - helpless to 'just snap out of it', to do anything, really, except ask for professional help.
But thanks to that help I am back, pretty much as I was before I fell sick. The numbness has gone altogether. The anxiety is being successfully processed and tamed. The flashbacks have been processed. And it is mainly thanks to my two fantastic NHS therapists, Hannah (CBT) and Zoe (EMDR and general 'talking' therapy i.e. just being incredibly nice and supportive).
And the CBT workbook I've been slowly ploughing through which I've found extremely effective. Plus some excellent hypnotherapy downloads.
There are still remnants, for instance I still have anxiety nightmares. But hopefully as my daytime anxiety diminishes, it will help to get the noctural anxiety under control too.