"Is today proving that I'm fully recovered from the eating disorder?" said Ben yesterday (Christmas Day) evening. I gave him a massive hug in a response. Really and truly if you had been a fly on the wall yesterday, nothing in Ben's behaviour would have hinted at any history of anorexia. Ben enthusiastically devoured more than one helping of Christmas dinner followed by a couple of helpings of Christmas pudding, white sauce and Christmas ice cream - and continued to snack for the rest of the day.
And so I am not at all sure how this triggered my evening / nighttime panic attacks, but it may simply have been the fact that it was Christmas. Also we were celebrating Christmas at my sister's house which is where we spent Christmas Day in 2009, our first and worst Christmas with the eating disorder. So that may have acted as a trigger, too.
But the Good News is that Ben was absolutely fine - mood wise and food wise.
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