It's the final day of 2012 - and the end of my blog posts for this year. Tomorrow we begin our "fats experiment" whereby we spend a couple of weeks closely analysing (and adjusting) fat and calorie content of Ben's intake, preceded by a weigh-in session. I will also be measuring his height. Then, each week in the New Year, I will be introducing new challenges / experiments / tests / whatever with a view to making 2013 the year that Ben really does recover fully and permanently.
I am a Mum on a Mission and am raring to go. We will also be adjusting our Recovery Contract to take into account everything that needs tweaking for 2013 with a view to moving Ben onwards and upwards.
Yesterday my H said to me: "I don't believe Ben will ever fully recover." Now, as you can imagine, this was like a red rag to a bull as far as I was concerned. H believes I am wasting my time and energy. "Well," I told him. "I will continue to do whatever it takes to get Ben well. I will fight tooth and nail. And if I fail, then at least I will have tried my hardest." Basically Mama Matty doesn't take "no" for an answer. Failure is not an option.
But, first, let's get through the "fats experiment". Then, next week, Ben is being assessed for further treatment on the NHS. Good grief, that assessment appointment came through a tad faster than when I first asked our GP to refer Ben for treatment back in the early autumn of 2009. Remember how I was told we'd be looking at an 18-22 week wait? And that was from the date I received the acknowledgement that CAMHS had received the referral.
Mind you, this is just an assessment. There might be a wait following that. And, of course, we have no control over who Ben is referred to. I will be pushing for eating disorder treatment. But I'm not holding out much hope. Unfortunately the Yorkshire Centre for Eating Disorders doesn't take people on with BMIs of higher than 17...
... which, of course, is ludicrous because - during his entire eating disorder - Ben's BMI never got that low. Yet he had full blown anorexia. At one point his weight was one third down on his pre-eating disorder weight. So, presumably this means that a heck of a lot of adults are slipping through the net, being refused treatment because their BMI isn't low enough.
But I will ensure I'm present at the assessment to make sure the assessor knows exactly what needs addressing. And, with all my years of experience behind me, I instinctively know when the professionals are talking rubbish, don't take us seriously or treat me like an over-protective mother worrying about nothing.
I will be in a fighting mood, believe me.